10 Tips for Adjusting to Life in a Wheelchair
Adjusting to life in a wheelchair is not an easy thing to do, whether you were born disabled or became disabled at a later point in your life. The process and how long it takes is very different for everyone and there’s no “right way” to get through it. In this post, I hope to give you some tips to help along the way and provide you with a little hope and encouragement.
I was born with a rare form of Muscular Dystrophy, a progressive illness. Therefore, I have been on the same journey that you are on now. I have had battles with myself about self-acceptance, frustration with my situation, feeling different and questioning why this happened to me. All the information I will present in this post are tools and things that I have personally used, and thought may be helpful to you.
Table of Contents
10 Tips for Adjusting to Life in a Wheelchair
How Can You Make Life Easier in a Wheelchair?
What Is the Most Difficult Thing for Wheelchair Users?
How Do You Feel Confident in a Wheelchair?
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10 Tips for Adjusting to Life in a Wheelchair
While these tips I mention below are important to helping to adjust to life in a wheelchair, they take time and it’s not an overnight process. Be patient and take each day one day at a time.
1. You Will Grieve and That’s Okay
Grief is a normal reaction whenever you lose someone or something that you value. As you adjust to life in a wheelchair, you will understandably grieve the loss of your abilities. Even if you were born disabled and have needed to use a wheelchair for most of your life, this can be true.
Grief is a complicated thing as there are many emotions and feelings that come along with it. These can include feeling numb, anger, depression, and more.
You may have heard of the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance). These stages don’t always happen in a certain order and there is no timeline for how long it takes to experience them. You may even go back to one of the stages after you thought you had moved past it.
And just to be clear, acceptance doesn’t mean that you are happy you are in a wheelchair, and it doesn’t mean that you won’t have a range of emotions that come up from time to time about your situation. Acceptance means you acknowledge that you need a wheelchair to help you function and that by using it, you can have more freedom and ability to do things compared to if you refuse to use it.
Ultimately, acceptance and how you get to that point is a journey that can look different for everyone. Just know that grief is a natural part of the process, and your feelings are valid.
2. Make Sure to Focus on Your Abilities and Not Just What You’ve Lost
As you are grieving and adjusting to life in a wheelchair, it will be natural for your focus to be on what you’ve lost (or even never had). However, it is also important to concentrate on what you can still do as well. By doing this, you are reminding yourself that you haven’t lost everything (even if it sometimes feels like you have).
By focusing on the abilities that you do have, you are creating a path to move forward. You can work to improve those abilities to help compensate for the ones you’ve lost and find new ways to complete tasks.
3. Be Creative in Finding New Ways to Do Things
I know how frustrating it can be to not be able to do something that you once could. I would even get stuck in my feelings and just want to give up when things didn’t work out as planned. Luckily, however, I had a very supportive family that would help me break things down as to why I could no longer do something and help to find alternatives or new ways of completing the task.
By looking at why something is no longer possible, it helps to find adaptive equipment to assist you or an alternative way of getting similar results. An example of this could be driving. If you can no longer use your feet to control the pedals, look at getting hand controls for your vehicle. Although some practice and training will be needed, using hand controls can still allow you to drive, just a little bit differently.
4. Challenge Negative Thoughts
“I’ll never be able to be happy again”, “I can’t do anything anymore”, “I’m worthless”, and “Life will never get better” are all negative thoughts. Negative thoughts are something that we all have (whether we are aware of them or not). While it’s natural for these thoughts to occur, they can have devastating consequences if left unchecked.
A healthy way of dealing with these annoying thoughts is to outright challenge them. This does not mean you have to be positive and “Suzie Sunshine” all the time. Rather, challenge these negative thoughts with more reality-based thinking.
For example, for the thought “I can’t do anything anymore”, you could say, I may not be able to walk, but there are some things I can still do such as….”. Another example is to try challenging the thought “my life will never get better” by saying to yourself, “I’m struggling with life right now and I want to take steps to improve it.”
Seeing a counselor or therapist that is trained in cognitive behavioral therapy may help until you are better able to recognize these thoughts and find ways to challenge them.
5. Seek Support for Adjusting to Life in a Wheelchair
One of the most important ways to adjust to life in a wheelchair is by seeking out support. This could be a friend, family member, support group or even a therapist. It can be extremely helpful to talk to someone that can relate to what you are going through and help you through the process.
Even if that person hasn’t been through your personal situation, having someone you can express your thoughts, fears, and feelings to will prevent you from keeping them bottled up.
6. Get a Wheelchair That is Specific to Your Needs
There are many types of wheelchairs available. Some have specific features to meet your specific needs (like an eye level lift on powered wheelchairs, tilt features etc.). Work with professionals and doctors to get recommendations on what will best suit your needs.
If you have a wheelchair that is tailor made for you it will not only make you more comfortable and allow you to do more as well.
7. Don’t View Your Wheelchair as the Enemy
Initially it is easy to see your wheelchair as an enemy, a symbol of what you’ve lost and something to despise. Hopefully, over time, however, you will start seeing your wheelchair as a tool that gives you some independence and freedom to do things in a new way.
8. Manage Your Expectations
Expectations can be hazardous. By expecting the worse, you can unintentionally make that come true. In addition, the opposite can be just as dangerous when you expect a miracle where you will wake up one day and no longer need a wheelchair, can cause recurring disappointment.
Instead, it’s important to take each day one at a time. Set realistic goals and expectations by using information and data you are given (both from medical professionals and evidence from your recovery) to guide you.
This is not to say that you shouldn’t try to have a positive attitude or have hope. Just manage how extreme you allow your expectations to go. It is easy when there is an unknown or question mark become anxious and think the worst.
9. Exercise
Admittedly, I hate exercise because it’s hard and (for me) it can take so long to see any progress. However, I consider it a necessary evil. Staying strong not only keeps me from losing further abilities but helps me stay independent and function to the best of my ability. This will be the same for you.
Exercise will not only keep up your strength allowing you to do more, but help to maintain your stamina up, reduce the risk of pressure sores, and the endorphins can help boost your mental health as well. There are plenty of YouTube videos available where you can find workouts and exercises for wheelchair users to get you started. If you are working with a physical therapist, you should consult with them as well.
10. Do Things That Bring You Joy
Anytime someone is going through a stressful situation, it’s always a good idea to do something you love. Yes, this activity may look a little different than it did before, but if it brings you joy, that is what’s important. Doing things that you enjoy will help balance out the negative feelings you may be experiencing and add some positive things to look forward to.
How Can You Make Life Easier in a Wheelchair?
Following the above tips will help to make life a little easier, but there are also some gadgets and tools that can assist as well. Here are a few of my favorites.
Portable Ramp
Unfortunately, the world is not as accessible as it could be. Many shops and restaurants have a step to get in and curbs don’t always have cuts in them. Having a portable wheelchair ramp in your vehicle can help to increase some accessibility in an imperfect world.
Beach Wheelchair
Just because you are a wheelchair user, shouldn’t mean you can’t enjoy the beach! This beach wheelchair is easier to turn than some of the other models and is one of the few that allows users to enter the water safely.
Free Wheel Attachment
This attachment is designed for manual wheelchairs and makes traveling over rough surfaces easier. It can quickly be attached or disconnected depending on your needs.
Rain Poncho for Wheelchair Users
This is specifically designed for wheelchairs so there will be no material getting caught in your wheels. It will keep you dry if you need or want to be outside in the rain.
Wheelchair Blanket Warmer
One thing that wheelchair users struggle with is regulating their body temperature and as a result they often avoid cold weather. This blanket warmer helps keep some warmth in so that you can still go out and about during the winter.
What Is the Most Difficult Thing for Wheelchair Users?
Honestly, what people find most difficult as a wheelchair user will vary from person to person because we each have our own personal struggles and demons to deal with. However, I do think there are some common challenges that people face such as confidence, acceptance, and finding ways to adapt to a world that is not really designed to accommodate people with disabilities (and the frustration that comes with this).
The World Isn’t Designed for the Disabled
If there was better accessibility that allowed us to navigate our environment and the world more effectively and independently, it would really decrease a lot of frustration, feelings of isolation and allow us to function better in society. When you can take part in your surroundings without obstacles, it’s easier to feel like you belong and find ways to make positive contributions.
Perceptions About What it Means to Be Disabled Effects Adjusting to Life in a Wheelchair
Finally, I believe that a huge challenge is facing beliefs and thoughts about what it means to be disabled, both from others and from ourselves. We assign meaning to that word disabled. We often think of the word “disabled” as a bad word or something that people just don’t talk about and should be hidden away.
The truth is, there is a lot of ableism out there that we internalize. Somehow people associate being disabled as something to be pitied, that makes us less than, or something that we must overcome (and if we don’t, we’re not trying hard enough).
We see all these inspirational stories on tv on how someone overcame their challenges, and they didn’t let anything get in the way or stop them, and we find ourselves thinking that we need to do this too. If we can’t overcome our disability, we’ve somehow failed. These are unrealistic thoughts. While it’s great that some people have succeeded in defying the odds, in reality, however, many people struggle (and that’s okay). We can’t force ourselves to try to live up to perfection… we are human.
Being disabled is not something to be pitied. It’s not something that anyone wishes for, but it’s not the end of life either. While adjusting to life as a person with a disability is difficult, it is important to recognize the faulty and unhealthy beliefs we have about our circumstance and begin to challenge them.
We are capable, we are important, and we have value.
How Do You Feel Confident in a Wheelchair?
I struggled with feeling confident for years. Most of the time I just wanted to blend in and be almost invisible, because if people didn’t see me, the real me, they wouldn’t think how different I am from them and want to exclude me. It took a lot of time and personal growth for me to realize that being different is okay and makes me unique and valuable (because I have a different perspective).
Having supportive friends and family helped a lot because they liked me for me, and my disability didn’t matter to them, and I felt I could truly be myself around them. I also found that having something that you are good at or specialize in gives you confidence that you have something important to offer.
Find Ways You Can Contribute Helps to Adjust to Life in a Wheelchair
When you feel like you are contributing to the world and not having to rely on others all the time, you naturally start to feel better about yourself. You become the go to person for your knowledge and skills (for me that’s travel) and see that you can make a positive impact despite having physical challenges.
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Monitor Those Negative Thoughts and Challenge Them!
I also had to reframe a lot of my negative thinking. Anytime someone would stare, it unnerved me, and I automatically jumped to the conclusion that they were judging me, pitying me, or just thought I was weird. It took a lot of time, but I’ve come to realize that there are so many other explanations for why people stare (they are curious, they like my smile, I remind them of someone they know etc.).
Challenging these negative beliefs helped me to feel more confident and eventually, I really didn’t care as much what other people thought of me. I have the right to live my life and do what makes me happy just like everyone else.
Final Thoughts: Adjusting to Life in a Wheelchair?
There is no straightforward process for adjusting to life in a wheelchair. It takes effort, support, and time to go through the journey. However, just because you are in a wheelchair doesn’t mean that life is over, and you can’t do things that you enjoy. Look for ways to remain independent, contribute, build back your self-esteem, and do what you love in the world.
Most importantly, give yourself time, patience and be kind to yourself.
